From the recording Ails, Fails and Fairytales
Lyrics
Condemned killer since before I was born
Talk about scorn
Grandpa killed by the child unborn
An oracle sworn
No chamber that god couldn’t penetrate
And mom would wait
No one expects a golden shower, but hey
In bed Zeus was great
Gramps found a box for mom and me
He threw us in and pushed us out to sea
Thankfully we didn’t die at sea
We landed finally
The king wasn’t what I thought he would be
Trouble I could see
Chorus
You’ve heard the wrong story
This isn’t a quest for glory
You’ve heard the wrong story
This isn’t a quest for glory
The king loved my mom, you see
Seemed like a dick to me
Tried to embarrass my family
Made a deal with me
Snake headed witch wanted to lose weight
And I wasn’t a moment late
God’s pointed out the triumvirate
The hags were irate
Steered me toward my destiny
Effects to kill my enemies
So Medusa’s faster than me
So I attacked her in her sleep
But my arm is getting heavy
Something up my sleeve
Chorus
If looks could kill then I’d be dead
Used my shield, cut off her head
Beast of the sea
Trying to ravage my lady
But before I hit the hay
Still one monster I have yet to slay
I’ve got the gods on my side now
There ain’t no stopping me now
So much pride, it’ll make you sick
I’ll make it, I’ll make it
You know something’s gonna give
Cause the moral of the story is the hero lives, right
Went to a new town to throw the discus around
Grandpa dead on the ground